Reasons to Appreciate Social Distancing and Wearing a Mask

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In March when many people were protesting social distancing, I found reasons to appreciate it. I’ve been appreciating things that I never thought I would, like post-nasal drip — I think it means I don’t have COVID-19.

Top 10 Reasons to Appreciate Social Distancing

So, I’m okay with social distancing. The other day at the grocery store, I felt perfectly justified in calling a guy out for getting into my personal space. He still said it was okay for him to do that, but at least he didn’t pull out a gun.

Here are 10 other reasons I think social distancing isn’t so bad:

10. I appreciate the Police’s song “Don’t Stand So Close to Me” in a new way.

9. I feel frugal when I have a 50 pound bag of dog food delivered.

8. Open-the-economy protests give me a whole new understanding of the phrase, “cull the herd.”

7. I really mean it when I wear my hat that says, “Not in the mood to wash my hair today.”

6. I don’t feel awkward saying once again, “I’ll have to miss the progressive dinner this year.”

5. There are no students upstairs playing knee hockey on the simulated wood floor.

4. Developing a habit to wipe down the stove top, sink, and refrigerator was a snap.

3. The governor waived late fees on overdue excise tax payments.

2. No one tells me to “Just relax. It’ll all work out.”

1. I don’t feel guilty about not visiting my mother.

Massachusetts and New Hampshire phased out the lockdown this summer, and I visited my 96-year-old mother every week. Now, of course, I feel guilty for visiting her.

Less than 10 Reasons I’m Okay with Wearing a Mask

Over the summer, COVID-19 hot spots moved from the East Coast to the middle of the country. Many people protested mask mandates and refused to wear masks. On September 21, 2020, the total death count to date was close to 200,000. A little more than 40 percent of those deaths occurred in the Midwest.

I think wearing a mask isn’t really all that bad. Here’s why:

5. I can cosplay Red Dead Redemption 2 without spending money on expensive costumes.

4. When I wear my sunhat and mask, the age spots on my face get worse more slowly.

3. My frown when people don’t follow the traffic pattern at the grocery store is invisible beneath my mask.

2. People don’t look at me funny when I wear a balaclava in mid-September to keep my nose warm.

1. A mask is easier to breathe through than a balaclava.

Most of life is unpredictable. But I will probably find more reasons to appreciate social distancing and masks.